how it feels to have a beating heart

being unemployed is a strange beast.

i have so much time. even though jobhunting is demanding, i still have all these hours in my day that aren’t filled out with things to do. i don’t know what to do with all this time.

i’ve been working on my health. i have been thinking about a lot of things. i have given up knitting for the time being. i am not writing as much as i’d like to. i’m having a lot of really vivid dreams. i wake up at four am with the sun.

i’m having difficulties recognising myself while at the same time feeling like i’ve always been like this. i can’t define what this is.

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dandelions on the beach. may 2017.
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